|Fic: Pretty Girl 7/?
||[Feb. 14th, 2011|06:58 pm]
|||||Emile Autumn - God Help Me||]|
Title: Pretty Girl
Disclaimer: Glee doesn't belong to me and I make no money from this.
Summary: Kurt and Finn are becoming closer as step-brothers, and Kurt figured out Finn's darkest secret—the one Finn can't even quite put into words—Finn's transgender, MTF.
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Finn/Rachel, Finn/Puck
Spoilers: Up to “A Very Glee Christmas,” but AU after.
Notes: Based on this prompt: http://community.livejournal.com/glee_angst_meme/4263.html?thread=7393191#t7393191
All previous parts can be found on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/152362/chapters/218521
Warning: This chapter has mentions of a past suicide attempt.
Thank you to MistressAshley for this picture of Vanessa: http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p300/JoyfulKittie/Vanessa2.png (It's a bit big to embed, but I really like the awkward smile)
and Tinak47 made me this:
“Is it true you're moving to Thailand to get a sex change operation?” Jacob Ben Israel asks Finn, shoving his digital recorder in her face.
“Get that out of my face, Jacob, or I'll throw you in the dumpster again,” Vanessa threatens.
“You're not scary anymore, Finn Hudson. Everyone knows you want to be a girl, and nobody afraid of tranny freaks like you,” Jacob says.
“Oh yeah?” Puck asks, pinning Jacob to the lockers with one arm. “How 'bout me? Am I still scary?”
“Uh, yeah,” Jacob squeaks.
“Get gone,” Puck says, and Jacob skedaddles. He turns to Vanessa. “How're you holding up?”
Vanessa shrugs. “I've been called some names. Some of them from Ms. Sylvester. Somebody spray-painted my locker. Nothing too bad. My parents have an appointment with Figgins tomorrow. But I think Burt's going to show up before then and yell at Mr. Schue.”
“Guy deserves it,” Puck says. “Kurt told me to get you because we're gonna go meet with Ms. P. to see if she'll sponsor that club thing.”
“Okay,” Vanessa smiles. She follows Puck, ignoring the stares of the others. When they got to Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell's office, Kurt, Blaine, Sam and Rachel were standing by the door. They could hear Mr. Schue speaking from the other side of the door.
“I've known Finn longer than you have, Mr. Hummel. I've watched him grow up and go through so much. He's a good boy, star quarterback, lead male vocalist in the glee club. I've watched him struggle and grow, and I'm very proud of him, but he is definitely a boy.”
“You think you know what you're talking about, but you don't, Schuester. Kurt told me how you never listen when the kids try to talk about what they're feeling. Do you even understand what she's going through?” Burt Hummel flings back at Mr. Schue. “She had everyone in her life telling her to 'be a man, be a man!' when deep inside she feels like a girl. She's been told her entire life that she's wrong. You know, you're supposed to be a mentor to these kids, but I find myself seriously doubting your ability as a teacher when my kids come home and tell me about how you made them feel like crap. Don't they give you guys sensitivity training or something? You really hurt her feelings.”
“What her? There is no her! Finn is a boy,” Will says.
“She feels like a girl, in her head. And that's what matters. How is is that I'm an uneducated redneck mechanic, and you're a teacher who's gone to college, and yet I know more about this stuff than you? Sex is what's between your legs, while gender's what's between your ears. Don't you know anything? And when they don't match up, the body can be changed, but the brain and the soul or whatever you want to call it can't. So if Finn says she's a girl, she's a girl, and you need to stop making her feel like shit just because she's brave enough to speak out for herself,” Burt rants at Will.
“Mr. Hummel raises a good point, Will,” Emma says, and the kids eavesdropping on the other side of the door smile. “Being a teenager is hard enough when you're not struggling with gender identity problems. Finn needs your support, Will, not your condemnation. I have some literature on transgender issues, and I'd appreciate it if you read it.” There's a shuffling in the office that they assume is Emma looking around for pamphlets.
“She's gotten a lot more forceful since she married the creepy dentist man,” Puck observes, out in the hall. “I like it.”
“Dad's awesome,” Vanessa whispers to Kurt, who nods.
“Best dad ever,” Kurt agrees.
“No, she doesn't need to see the guidance counselor,” Burt yells at Will, before lowering his voice to a decent volume. “Nessa's already seeing a therapist, and a doctor. Transitioning is her decision, not yours, and I will support her in any decision she makes. And if you can't treat her like the beautiful, amazing girl she is I will get a lawyer down here and sue you for discrimination.” There's a noise like a chair scraping across the floor, and the door opens. Burt storms out of the office, surprised to see his kids there.
“Hey Dad,” Kurt says softly.
“Hey kiddo. How's it going so far today?” Burt answers Kurt, then asks Vanessa.
“Some idiot spray-painted my locker, but that's about it. Some whispers and stuff, but nobody's gotten in my face or anything. I think the jocks are still scared of you and Sam's mom,” Vanessa says.
“Well, I'm coming back to talk to your principal tomorrow, with your mom. We're going to talk to your principal about having your teachers call you by the right name, if you'd like.”
“I would,” Vanessa says. She knows that she had originally wanted to wait to come out at school. Maybe even wait until after she started HRT. But it seems everyone knows now, and if she could dress like herself, she would be so much more comfortable. She decides then. Tomorrow she's going to get up, get dressed and come into school looking like herself.
“I'll see you kids at home then,” Burt says, patting both his kids on the shoulder before heading back out to work.
“Your dad is so awesome,” Blaine says, not for the first time. His own father was less than accepting of his own gay son, not that it really matters much. The Andersons haven't gotten much more than a Christmas phone call since Mr. Anderson ran off to Spain with his secretary. But at least he sends decent child support payments.
Will steps out of Emma's office and is surprised to see several of his students standing there. He shifts his weight awkwardly before looking at Vanessa.
“Finn, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings yesterday,” Mr. Schue says.
“It's not hard to figure out, Mr. Schue,” Vanessa says. “I might not be the brightest crayon in the box, but even I knew that you mentored me because boy-me reminded you of yourself in high school. I tell you I'm a girl, you freak. It's not unexpected. But, like, could you try and get over it fast? Because me being a girl doesn't mean you are, I promise, and you really are my favorite teacher, and I don't know if I can make it through all the hell that's likely to come my way without you there to help,” Vanessa says, and Will looks kind of flabbergasted at her statement. “Anyway, we have a meeting with Ms. P.”
The group of teenagers files into Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell's office. There isn't enough room for them all to sit, so Kurt and Rachel sit in the two chairs, the others standing up against the wall of her office.
“So, you kids want to start a Gay-Straight Alliance?” Emma asks the students in front of her.
“Yes Ma'am,” Blaine says, flashing his thousand-watt smile. “We've filled out all the forms, gotten permission from our parents, and even signed up for a meeting room. All we need is a faculty adviser, and we hoped you'd do it.”
“Absolutely,” Emma smiles back. “I've been hoping for a long time somebody would get up the nerve to start one of these groups on campus. Let me take your paperwork, sign it, and hand it in to the office. Since you're all in the glee club, I'm assuming you chose a meeting time that doesn't conflict?”
“Yes Ma'am,” Blaine replies. “Tuesdays and Thursdays after school.”
“Alright them. As soon as the paperwork gets pushed through, I'll get some posters made up, and you can hang them around school,” Emma says. “And Finn, your stepfather was just here. He says you prefer to be called Vanessa?”
“Yeah, Miss P,” Vanessa said.
“Alrighty then. I'll take care of this, and hopefully we can have our first meeting next Tuesday.” Emma smiles at them and waves them out of her office.
“I'll meet up with you guys in a bit,” Kurt says. He's supposed to be going to lunch, but he has something else he needs to take care of. He finds Sue Sylvester in her office.
“We need to talk,” Kurt says.
“Porcelain. To what do I owe this visit?”
“You and I both have a problem. You're not going to win Nationals at this rate. You've lost three Cheerios this year. Two because their parents moved and one because you actually drove her insane. Marlene Kyle's gained fifteen pounds that she couldn't afford to gain, and Toby Ellis has been sneaking into the girls' bathroom to snort coke with Evelyn Smith. If that was discovered the whole squad would be disqualified. I know this and I've been here for two days. Even with Quinn back on the squad you don't have the edge you need to win. This is your problem. My problem is that my sister recently came out as transgender and people are treating her like crap. I'm used to it, she's not,” Kurt says.
“If Hudson wants to be a freak, I don't see how that's any business of mine,” Sue says.
“Here's where we make our deal. I'll rejoin the Cheerios and deliver a vocal performance so spectacular that we'll outdo last year's performance by leaps and bounds. Even when I was at Dalton I was training with Brittany on the weekends, when I wasn't with family. I'm in great shape, and she and I have come up with a few ideas which will blow the judges' minds. I will win you another Nationals.”
“And what do you want in exchange?” Sue asks.
“I want you to defend my sister with the same ferocity and intensity you would use to protect and defend your own sister,” Kurt says.
“That's it? You just want me to protect Hudson from the bullies and bigots?” Sue asked.
“That's it,” Kurt confirms.
“You've got a deal, kid. Get changed back into your uniform. I'm making you co-captain with Quinn.”
“You've got it, Coach,” Kurt says.
“What are you wearing?” Blaine asks when Kurt strolled into the lunch room. Lunch is almost over, but Blaine had saved him something. Blaine's sitting at a lunch table with Vanessa, Rachel, Puck, Sam, Brittany, Lauren and Santana.
“Coach Sylvester put me back on the squad. And she made me co-captain with Quinn,” Kurt says, taking the salad Blaine holds out to him.
“I know you'd said you were a cheerleader,” Blaine says, his eyes glued on Kurt, “But I hadn't realized...”
“Just how hot he'd look in the uniform?” Rachel asks. “I know, right?”
“Huh?” Kurt asks, surprise.
“You're hot, Kurt,” Lauren says, “You rock that look better than all the boy Cheerios.”
“And some of the girls,” Brittany says. “Not me though. I look awesome.”
“Dude, I'm straight and even I'd have to admit I considered banging you last year, just to keep my perfect Cheerios record,” Puck says, and everyone just stares at him.
“Well, you missed your chance,” Blaine said, wrapping an arm around Kurt's shoulder's possessively.
“Don't worry, pretty-boy, I have no desire to steal your man,” Puck promises.
Kurt scarfs down his salad just in time to make it to class. Blaine walks him to class and kicks him quickly on the cheek before going off to his own class. They're still not quite used to being at McKinley. The anti-PDA rules were so strict at Dalton that Blaine has to regularly remind himself it's okay to hold Kurt's hand in public. Of course, it's only his second day at McKinley, so he's fairly sure he'll get over his anxieties eventually. Blaine turns away from the door and begins walking down the hall towards his next class. He's about ten feet away when suddenly Karofsky and Vaughn are in front of him, and before he's had the chance to duck, he has his first slushie facial. Kurt was right, it is like being bitch-slapped by an iceberg. The bullies scatter and through the haze of blue ice he sees Tina standing in the doorway of the girls' bathroom waving him over. She looks around, then sneaks him into the girl's bathroom to clean off.
“Did you bring a change of clothes?” Tina asks.
“In my locker,” Blaine says.
“What's the combination?” Tina asks.
“13-15-3,” Blaine says.
“I'll be right back,” Tina promises. “Start washing your face off.”
“Thanks,” Blaine says. She darts out of the bathroom and he starts wiping off the blue ice, shivering slightly. The door opens and Blaine prepares to hide in the stall from random girl, since he's probably not supposed to be in here, but it's Mercedes who steps over the threshold. She surveys him and sighs.
“Slushied?” she asks.
Blaine nods, but doesn't say anything.
“What, not talking to me either?” she sighs.
“Sorry, I don't talk to bigots,” Blaine says
“I am not a bigot,” Mercedes replies. “But some points of view are just plain evil.”
“Yeah,” Blaine agrees. “Yours. I heard you yesterday. You said to Kurt, 'I thought you were a good person, even though you're gay.'” Blaine mimics Mercedes' tone from the previous day. “One of the best ways to tell if something is homophobic is to replace the word 'gay' with the word 'black' and see how it flow,” Blaine says. He's been staring at the mirror, but he turns to face Mercedes now. “So how would you feel if I said, 'You know, Mercedes, I think you're a good person, even though you're black.' Hurts, doesn't it?”
“I didn't mean it like that,” Mercedes starts to argue. “Kurt is a good person, but my mom says that this trans-whatever stuff is poison. God never makes mistakes, and to say so is blasphemy.”
“The Hudson-Hummels don't even believe in God,” Blaine says. “Isn't that worse blasphemy from your point of view? I believe in God, though. I go to church every Sunday, with my mom and sister. We drive out to Columbus to go to a pro-gay church. And you know what? There are several trans people at my church. And gay guys and lesbians and straight people. We all go to church, we all love God the same, and God loves us all the same. Because that's what God is about. Love. Not this hate you're spewing. That's the poison. You and Quinn, are poisonous, tainted, and you're going to infect the whole glee club with your hate. Vanessa needs our love and support right now.” Blaine takes a step closer to Mercedes, who looks visibly upset. “Do you know how high the suicide statistics are for LGBT kids who don't get support from their friends and family? Six times higher than straight teenagers. And Vanessa is going to go through bullying hell.”
“Everyone gets bullied,” Mercedes says. “It makes you stronger.”
“Oh yeah? You weren't there on Saturday. You didn't see what Karofsky did to Finn. Vanessa. There's a huge difference between bullying and sexual harassment, and Karofsky crossed that line,” Blaine flings the words at Mercedes. She looks like she's about to say something, but he doesn't let her. He is very angry.
“Do you understand what it's like to be bullied every day? Told that you're worthless, evil, disgusting, an abomination, unwanted and unloved, every single day? To be called fag, queer, fudge-packer, pansy, sissy, girly-boy, fairy, lady, princess hundreds of times a day? Do you understand how badly those names tear you down?” Blaine is gesticulating wildly as he yells at Mercedes and in his anger he makes a snap decision. To hell with keeping his own secrets. He'd pushed his sleeves back for standing at the sink, and now he's holding his wrist right in front of Mercedes' face. He needs her to see the scar. To understood why he's transferred schools twice. Why he feels the need to protect Vanessa. Because he's been there and he can't let her go through what he went through.
“What?” Mercedes asks, not sure what her eyes are seeing.
“I was a freshman when I tried to kill myself. Some bullies had stripped me down to my underwear, painted 'fag' across my chest and then duct-taped me to the flagpole. The internet video went viral. Nobody called me by my name anymore. Everyone addressed me by epithets. I heard new epithets every day. I went to the principal and was told there was nothing they could do. I didn't see a way out. I couldn't see any reason to stay alive and go through three and a half more years of hell. Thank God my mother found me or I'd be dead. I've got a fairly good support system now, thankfully, but it's still hard. But that poison that pushed me to try and kill myself, that hate, that's what you pushed onto Finn and Kurt yesterday in glee club. I used to think that you were an amazing person, Mercedes. I really liked spending time with you. But that was before I knew you were a disgusting bigot capable of so much hate. Maybe if you prove me wrong, we can be friends. Maybe Kurt will want to be your friend again. But I do know that until you apologize for the shit you said yesterday, your BFF isn't going to answer any of your texts.”
Blaine notices Tina then, holding his clothes and looking stunned. “Thanks for the clothes, Tina, but I think I'm going to risk changing in the boys' room.” He takes the clothes from Tina and walked out, not taking the time to look back at a stunned, shell-shocked Mercedes.
“Don't be mad at me, okay?” Blaine says to Kurt when they meet up at the end of the day.
“Why would I be mad at you?” Kurt asks. He slips his hand into Blaine's easily as they walk down hall towards their lockers.
“I bumped into Mercedes when Tina sneaked me into the girls' room, and I gave her a piece of my mind. I think I might have been too mean, calling her a bigot and a bad person. And then I tried to scare her by telling her about freshman year.”
Kurt squeezes Blaine's hand in comfort. Blaine had told him months ago about the events that led up to him transferring to Dalton, but Kurt still feels so sad for that 14-year-old Blaine who didn't think he had any options.
“Mercedes means well, but she's lived a pretty sheltered life. Even with the bullying, she doesn't quite see the darker sides of life,” Kurt says. “After my dad's heart attack, she invited me to her church, and it was obvious that she was trying to be comforting, but it never occurred to her that I might not feel comfortable going to her church. It was okay I didn't feel threatened or anything, several of the parishioners gave me some nasty look and I heard some whispers. Everyone kept telling me they were praying for me, and I honestly couldn't tell you if they meant they were praying for my dad's heart, or for me being gay, but I'd guess the later. I was just uncomfortable,” Kurt feels Blaine squeeze his hand before he stops at his locker. He turns to open his locker but keeps talking.
“But Mercedes, as sweet and wonderful as she is usually, doesn't think that people might not share her view of the world. It's he way she was raised. Quinn as well, though Quinn holds more bitterness in her heart, because of her parents. And Quinn, I'm sure, feels at least a tiny bit threatened that her ex is transgender, because what might that mean about her? I believe that Quinn and Mercedes both had good hearts, they just need a reality check to see that the works isn't the way they imagine it is,” Kurt says.
“Yeah,” Blaine says. “Hell, I've got a mother who takes me to Inclusion Church every week, and is completely ensconced in the gay community, trying to make sure I have a good, accepted life, and yet I still treated Lisa like crap for almost two years because I didn't quite get it.”
Kurt doesn't have the chance to say anything because Santana's there, by his locker.
“So, Quinn heard about you being her co-captain and she is pissed. Oh, and Brittany and Tina have threatened Artie and Mike with absolutely no nookie whatsoever unless they start being nice to Vanessa. I give them until Monday before they beg her for forgiveness. A whole weekend with no kisses? They'll give in pretty quick,” Santana spills out.
“Probably,” Blaine says and Kurt agrees. “Once you've had sex, having sex privileges revoked is a good incentive for anything.”
“Very true,” Kurt agrees.
“So, the two of you,” Santana starts “Are you humping like gay bunnies, or what?”
“Santana Lopez, my sex life is none of your business,” Kurt says, holding himself tall, giving her a smug, prim look. Kurt doesn't see Blaine give Santana a wink and a nod from behind his back.